Well, let me first say that I had a very difficult time deciding what I was going to write about here in my guest post. It’s not that I had a hard time trying to come up with something but more like I just had too many ideas and couldn’t pick which one to go with. At first, I was planning to write about how I became an asshole, an exciting tale which takes place in Bangkok and involves dancing Thai girls, wacky Japanese business men, a gay tourist guide (who is probably related to this guy) and a passing reference to ping pong balls.
Then I thought maybe it would be better to post about how “Brad works in mysterious ways” which is a touching story of how I used my great “assholiness” to save a party from ruin and restored the loving bond between a mother and her son. Ideas were just swirling around in my head and after careful consideration, I’ve decided to go with “Why lesbian blogs are so popular with men”. I know it has nothing to do with the other two but it just popped into my head after recently burning a lesbian blog which is in the Top 50 at Battle of the Blogs.
Now I know what you’re thinking, “not only is Brad an asshole but he’s also a homophobe”. Let me just say it’s not true (the homophobe part); I’m very much in favor of gay marriage. I firmly believe that if the US would allow gay marriages it would usher in the greatest economic boom America has ever seen. Just think about it, wedding registries would quintuple overnight, there would be lines outside travel agencies to book honeymoons to places such as Mykonos or Key West, progressive churches would receive bucket loads of donations, crappy photographers would rejoice, Vera Wang’s sales figures would skyrocket and in 5-7 years time the gay divorce lawyer trade would be flourishing.
I’m getting sidetracked here so let’s get back to the issue at hand. I believe that lesbian blogs are particularly popular with men for one reason only; they play on the two most popular male sexual fantasies out there, threesomes and dike conversion.
Threesomes: What guy out there hasn’t at least once fantasized about stumbling into the middle of two hot girls going at it, and after the initial shock and surprise on the part of all parties involved gets invited to join in the fun? Don’t believe me, ladies? Watch any standard porn film and at some point, you’ll get just that scene. Note: for those ladies worried about having porn in their homes next time you’re at a hotel watching one on pay TV. Don’t worry, it will usually show up on your bill as “room service 9″. (I just gave you girls a bit of valuable advice, the next time hubby comes home from a business trip check his bill. I am willing to bet you’ll find a “room service” charge at the same price for every night he stayed.)
Dyke conversion: Who hasn’t heard some guy at some point say about some lesbian that all she would need is a night with him and she’d never think about sex with women again? Nothing fuels the male ego more than the thought of fucking a lesbian straight. Although there is no documented proof of any lesbian ever being fucked so silly that she decided from that point on it would be “only men for her”, you have to admit it would be a lot of fun trying.
For this reason, I believe that whenever a man stumbles across some hot lesbian’s blog he’s probably thinking how much he’d love to bang her straight, conveniently forgetting about the fact that the chick either has a Black & Decker industrial vibrator or a girlfriend with a Jamaican Big Bamboo strap on. On a side note, I would like to point out that women have a huge advantage in the sex toys department. I believe this is due to a strong lobby against the development of male sex toys by Jergens and other hand lotion manufacturers.
I really hope that this post cleared up the whole lesbian blog popularity issue for you straight girls out there. I felt it was an important topic to cover since maybe some of you were thinking that gay and lesbian blogs had better content. Trust me; their blogs suck just as much yours. I also took into consideration that Crazy like a Fox is probably receiving traffic from fetishists and hate groups after her last two guest posts so I thought I might help out by directing a bit of lesbian traffic her way as well. For those of you hoping to read about my Bangkok story, or my Mysterious Ways post you’ll just have to keep your eye out for my next guest post on whatever blog is lucky enough to host me.