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Who am I?

Way back in the early 2000’s, there was this boy.

I could probably start 80% of my high school vignettes with that very statement. Although in my younger years I was quite avant-garde, with the tattoos and the Russian literature, the zebra mini skirts, the Misfits cover band, the neon blue MG convertible and a proclivity for smoking doobies down by the train tracks… I was also very quick to fall in love.

More often than not, it wasn’t with kindred souls. A really good example of this is a boy we will call Joe.

All I can really remember about him is that we were in plays together, he was very musically inclined, and he wore khakis. He was a good looking boy, and sometimes he would give me rides home from play practice. But that was about that.

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Grandma is a muse

This work week started off with the notion that I was going to have to deal with a kind of crappy situation.

If you’ve ever worked in the service industry, I am sure you can commiserate, especially with the fact that burn out is inevitable, no matter what your position is.

Whether you are a bartender, wait tables, cook, seat people, run a cash register… there will come a point in time where you hate your life. I’m sure this goes with any business, however, in the service industry, we are more likely to blame our hatred on our career than our actual personal choices.

I caught wind on Sunday night that one of my morning cooks was on the verge of a full-blown freak-out, and from the snippy email she sent to my mother in law, her rage was directed solely at me.

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The Driver’s Guide to Hitting Pedestrians – and when did my life start going that direction?

I am one of those readers who will latch on to an author and start to wildly binge on everything I can get my hands on as quickly as possible.

Not every author, I’m not that easily persuaded. But there have been a few men who have touched my life in ways they will never know. When I first got a taste of Crime and Punishment in the 8th grade, Dostoyevsky became my first true love.

Slaughterhouse-Five spawned the next wave. I was a freshman in college and I blew all my beer money on everything Kurt Vonnegut I could get my hands on.
In 2008, Chuck Palahniuk came into my world as a throwaway. My sister had a copy of Rant, and she couldn’t get through the first 20 pages before casting it aside to her weird sibling. I spent that whole summer living in a trailer in Amish country, drinking Bud pounders, and pummeling through every page of twisted, satirical, eloquent gore and filth. Read More The Driver’s Guide to Hitting Pedestrians – and when did my life start going that direction?