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Slow Down Without Stopping

Something about these long, warm June days makes me want to slow down, slow everything down. My motivation  melts like an ice cream cone in a child’s hand on a bench, in a park, in the ripples of sun that cast themselves down on us through the screen of shimmering, green leaves.

I come to my computer: to write, to work, to pay bills–activities that I allow my mind to label “chores,” activities that I approach with more anxiety the longer I procrastinate on them.

You see, as the days lengthen, with light stretching itself long into evening, far past 9:00, I feel that time itself is lengthening, stretching its legs, slowing, pausing.

I am swimming in memories of the summers of my youth, when it seemed the days lasted forever, and the beginning of the next school year felt a lifetime away. I spent those long, hot days among stacks of library books, hungry for words, turning pages quickly, eager for the other-world escape a child finds so easily between the pages of a book.

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Don’t Invest in Things You Don’t Understand

Don’t put money in any investment product you can’t explain to a seventh grader!  Never put money in anything you don’t understand!”

Dave Ramsey practically screams this advice on the new version of the Financial Peace University lesson on investing.  There is no uncertainty in his words or his voice.  Critics of Dave Ramsey, and even quite a few of his fans over at My Total Money Makeover message boards, say Dave’s investing advice is either “too simplistic” or just wrong.

To people who are much more investment savvy, Dave’s investing advice probably does sound wrong or oversimplified.  But for folks like me, who just don’t have much learning or background in investing, that is a start, as long as we follow his basic advice quoted above.  Perhaps Dave Ramsey’s critics would be mollified by the next quote:

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One Day at a Time

At 8.30 am I woke to the sound of my alarm clock. I was due on placement at 10 am but on Wednesday I almost passed out because the office has no air conditioning. Today it’s even warmer than Wednesday so there was no way that I was going to sit in an office a green house and sweat my life away… not for anybody.

But I didn’t go back to bed, no. I got up and pottered around the house for a bit. I replied to endless amounts of e-mails, and went through my reader at a fairly slow pace. Then I decided to check my bank balance. What a way to depress you into oblivion.

I have $45 to last me until Monday. I have petrol to buy, and my phone bill to pay. This leaves me with $3 for the whole weekend. Go me? I resigned myself to the fact that I’d just spend the time doing cheap things i.e. gardening, reading, and crawling under the covers. But wait. Then I opened my little budget spreadsheet, and felt even more depressed.

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Like Falling Off A (B)log

Well, now. When I accepted the invitation to guest blog here at Crazy Like a Fox, I thought it would be easy to come up with a non-political topic (Fox didn’t forbid me to discuss politics, but I said in advance that I’d do something different and she thought that was a good idea). Now, after a long period of staring at the keyboard, I have to confess …

I got nothing’.

Well, almost nothing’. I’ve got a little something’ that’s not quite political and that doesn’t amount to much and which will probably seem trivial and trite when I trot it out (say that three times, real fast). But it’s something’, anyway. So I’ll go with it:

I’ve got it easy.

Political bloggers have their material brought up by room service every weekday morning. All we have to do is click on Google News or go over to Technorati to see what the top searches are, and we’re set. A good political blogger can just pick a random news story and use it as a launch platform to tell the rest of you (those who don’t nod off) why we are right, why “they” are wrong and why you are stupid if you don’t agree.

It’s like falling off a log, really.

The rest of you have to work at it.

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Axis of A

Imagine a picture of Alaska. Arkansas looks much the same, except for the glaciers and jagged 14,000′ peaks. It’s a lovely picture, and if you click on it, you can see a larger version. It’s worth it. Don’t worry, I’ll wait.

When the gracious Fox asked if I would write a guest column, I was thrilled to the icy core of my Alaskan heart. Actually, in Alaska, our hearts don’t beat, just ooze enough anti-freeze to oxygenate our brains.

She asked what my topic would be. I searched my mind, and figured it out – the Axis of A. Arkansas, Alaska, heck, these states were made to be blogged about together. So, I did a quick list: how are these states the same? I’ve actually visited Arkansas once, and so consider myself an expert on everything Arkansan. That made it easy to compile this list:

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Adventures In Dating

I am inspired by LingLing’s post that never will be to tell share a little of my dating horrors.

After the breakup of my second marriage, when I felt that I was ready to start dating again, I started going to the clubs with my new roommate and I also placed a personal ad with Yahoo Personals. A met a couple of really nice guys, but the majority of the men I met were real jerks.

I met a guy named Brian at a club one night and danced with him a couple of times, but for the most part, he spent most of the evening hanging out with his buddies. That didn’t bother me at all as I really wasn’t interested in him. My roommate and I got tired and decided to go home. As I passed this gentleman and his friends on my way out the door, he stopped me and asked if I was leaving. When I told him I was going home, he offered to walk me out to the car. When we got out to the car he swooped in on me like a vulture. His kiss was like making out with a Hoover with teeth. He literally had my entire mouth inside of his and I had bite marks on my upper lip. After this wonderful kiss he then asks me to stay there with him and he would buy me breakfast in the morning. Read More Adventures In Dating


Well, let me first say that I had a very difficult time deciding what I was going to write about here in my guest post. It’s not that I had a hard time trying to come up with something but more like I just had too many ideas and couldn’t pick which one to go with. At first, I was planning to write about how I became an asshole, an exciting tale which takes place in Bangkok and involves dancing Thai girls, wacky Japanese business men, a gay tourist guide (who is probably related to this guy) and a passing reference to ping pong balls.

Then I thought maybe it would be better to post about how “Brad works in mysterious ways” which is a touching story of how I used my great “assholiness” to save a party from ruin and restored the loving bond between a mother and her son. Ideas were just swirling around in my head and after careful consideration, I’ve decided to go with “Why lesbian blogs are so popular with men”. I know it has nothing to do with the other two but it just popped into my head after recently burning a lesbian blog which is in the Top 50 at Battle of the Blogs.

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That Time I Met That Chef

I always wish I had a mentor of some sort. Someone with good leadership qualities who could show me how to create a harmonious work environment without letting myself get thrown under the bus by my employees. I will be perfectly honest here, in all my years of restaurant experience, the only thing I banked from my previous bosses was how I didn’t want to act.

In 2010, a kind of miracle occurred. I entered a writing contest through Dawn Professional on a whim. The prize was $20,000 in restaurant make-over supplies, a consultation with Spike Mendelsohn of Top Chef fame, and a trip to the NRA show in Chicago.

Two months later, I found out I had won.

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Just Dropping By: Umbrella, Taxes, Messes, and Murphy’s Law

What good is it to have a blog if you never actually write on it?
Between here or there it seems like I just haven’t had the urge to write lately in general. I’m tired. I’m in a constant state of “busy.” Business is going well, but myself and my staff are all borderline haggard due to whatever winter related maladies and never ending viruses we keep passing back and forth. The general public breathing all over you on a daily basis thing…

That coupled with a few nights of less than adequate sleep and all of a sudden your immune system is compromised and it’s too late so you just cross your eyes, cover your mouth when you cough, and deal with it.

We are coming up on one of our busiest weeks of the year, Ridgway Rendezvous, the biggest chainsaw carver festival in the world, and every year I promise myself I will be well rested, well prepared, and coast my way through this fun but chaotic time.

Read More Just Dropping By: Umbrella, Taxes, Messes, and Murphy’s Law

The Consequences of “Fitness”

I look back on the past 5 months of my life, and I really don’t even know how to go about putting together a coherent post about what I really want to say.
It all started with a self imposed social media hiatus. This was a long time coming, as I had been using blogging, twitter, and everything in between to fuel some really poor habits. I think maybe more than a few people can relate to this, so I will put it bluntly, and I will put it honestly.

There is so much more to life than trying to be the fittest person on the planet.

Over the past few years, I watched myself transform from a severely overweight girl who was depressed, lacked the confidence to thrive, and had a horribly fucked up relationship with food to… A thin, more muscular, depressed girl who lacked the confidence to thrive and had a seriously fucked up relationship with food and working out.

God, it feels good to get that off my chest. Read More The Consequences of “Fitness”